Medical Note:
Ulcers Revisited, But Not Found
26 April 2019

ΒΆ Quoth the doctor: I’m not worried about you anymore. Looking into my eyes, he saw that the corneal ulcers had “cleared up.” I certainly felt better. My eye had bothered me a bit in the early morning, but I decided that this was dehydration, and, sure enough, by the time the doctor saw me, at about ten-thirty, the irritation had quite gone away. 

“But nobody’s ever heard of corneal ulcers,” I said.

“I have,” said the doctor.

“Yes, but that’s you.” I’m sure that the eminent ophthalmologist has heard of all sorts of things, but there is an unwritten rule that patients on the Upper East Side stick to well-known disorders. Inexplicable, unheard-of illnesses are infra dig, associated with faraway places where they don’t know everything the way we do. I am aware of this because I am prone to the inexplicable and the unheard-of. And I’m the one who never leaves the neighborhood! 

I am to continue the antibiotic drops, at a lower rate, through Sunday.

What next. (I’m not asking.)

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