Special Bulletin:
This One’s On Me


We interrupt this blog cast to bring you a live report from the Cambridge 2 Summit that was held at the White House this evening. Amazingly, Alex Balk of The Awl has obtained a transcript of the conversation. A choice excerpt:

BIDEN: [Brightly] Afghanistan is going to make Iraq look like Grenada!

OBAMA: [Glaring at BIDEN] Okay, drink up, gentlemen, the bar’s closing. I’ve wasted enough of my time on this ridiculous sideshow. I trust you’ll both announce that you found the meeting amicable, that we’ve reached some common ground, that America still has a long way to go on its journey to reconciliation, but that the first step is for men and women of goodwill to sit down together and… I dunno, whatever the fuck Favreau tossed off, Rahm will give you the talking points on the way out. Any questions?

CROWLEY: [Talking softly, gesturing at BIDEN] Is he really always like that?

OBAMA: Actually, this is one of the good days. But don’t worry. Between us, the Secret Service has standing orders to take him out immediately if anything happens to me.

CROWLEY: That is the most reassuring thing I’ve heard in two weeks.

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