Branding Note:
Not Every Hero
9 August 2018

How long has this been going on? Months and months, it seems — but I only just noticed. Needing a new roll of paper towels, I pulled down the package of six that I bought some time ago at Fairway and stored on the shelf over the cabinets. As will be clear, I never really looked at it, beyond noting the brand name and the checked lumberjack shirt. Until today that is. As I was trying poke a hole in the thick plastic wrap, my eyes fell on the words, “Not every hero is a ‘he’.” I’m too old to think WTF?, but my reaction was something like that. Sure enough, when I turned over the package to put it back up on the shelf, there she was, a dark-haired woman. I gather from a YouTube clip that she’s one of three, the other two being blondes. 

My preference for Brawny paper towels is almost as old as the brand. I’ve had to try all the others, because nothing is available all the time in Manhattan, but I’ve always been disappointed by alternatives. (And it has to be Brawny in the pick-a-size option.) Which is a pity, because I’ve always been mortified by Brawny’s branding, even the name. It’s as though I’m choosing the manly paper towel, if anything could be so ridiculous. Non-committal Bravo would suit me far better, except the towels don’t. 

I wonder if the Brawny marketers ever knew about Pine Clones.

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